Doctor Who Is Dire » Funny

You Are Not The Dalekettes

Jon — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:47:00 +0000

Y’see folks this is what comes of a good idea, a pair of munters in a basement somewhere think to themselves, wow those Australian girls – whilst fairly average looking – managed to look really quite hot when they dressed as Daleks, let’s do that.

Then you get this.

For goodness sake. What’s that about, really? Come on now.

Thanks to io9 for ruining our weekend.

Surely That’s Not Tea Time Viewing?

Jon — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:06:32 +0000

It’s amazing what you find when you read things properly. For example SciFi Now‘s 50 Greatest Doctor Who Moments.

It would appear SciFi Now has access to information that us mere mortals don’t. Namely some form of original script from the ninth Doctor episode Dalek. Witness greatest moment number eight!

Who would’ve known? The Doctor was originally obviously supposed to have performed some kind of kinky sex act on a restrained Dalek?

I know Russell T Davies was driven to shoehorn in as many inappropriate references to homosexuality as possible, surely The Doctor wanking off all over a Dalek is a step too far though?

Still anything is possible, look at poor Bannakaffalatta and his repressed cyborguality.

I guess we just have to be glad that it never made it to air. I’m not sure I could have witnessed Christopher Eccleston knocking one out, while Nicholas Briggs screamed ‘white wee-wee‘ at the top of his voice.

The Dalekettes

Jon — Sat, 30 May 2009 16:42:54 +0000

We’re a bit slow with this one sorry about that. Anyway it would appear that some enterprising Australian cosplayers (if you don’t know what that is, look it up and prepare to be horrified) decided to dress up like Daleks.

Not unusal you say? A little ambitious? Mayhap, however look at how they did it.

Now we’ve got to admit that they’re some pretty classy Australian birds right there, whisks and plungers in hand. Still you’ve got to hand it to those girls for doing something that Russell T Davies and his cohorts would never ever do; redesign the Dalek.

Arf, arf, etc. ad nauseum…

The Day I Met A Dalek

Jon — Tue, 05 May 2009 18:14:57 +0000

So there I was, in Bradford, at the National Museum of Photography, Film and Television when I saw a Dalek.

Cripes I thought, I’d better be careful it looks really far away, but they can trundle quite quickly on level, perfectly smooth, ground. I’d better make a dash for it. You can see the fear in my eyes!

It was at the point above that I realised I’d been duped. It wasn’t far away at all it was just really, really tiny.

And shit.

How they plan on conquering the universe is beyond me. Short arse Skaro bastards.

Rutan Jewellers?

Jon — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 09:30:54 +0000

I wonder if the Sontarans are aware of this latest money making scheme by the Rutans?

I’m quite surprised that they would choose to advertise this in a cab office in Nottingham, but there you go, shows what I know about advanced alien civilisations doesn’t it?

Although their ability to make jewellery must be some what inhibited by their lack of opposable thumbs and their general amorphous blob-like bodies.

I shall keep my eye on this, don’t want to end up like those light house keepers do I?

On closer inspection it would appear I’ve been a complete dumb-ass, they’re not jewellers at all! It’s all merely a cover for some shady pawnbroking operation. Tchoh! Just their sort of thing.