The Osterhagen Key has to be the most pointless device in the history of UNIT (an organisation so rubbish that even the United Nations have disowned them).
In the event of the Earth being under an attack, deemed so terrible that death for 6.8 billion people might seem a good idea, three people from the now Unified Intelligence Taskforce would descend into remote bunkers and trigger 26 nuclear warheads.
And thus Earth would become rubble.
This isn’t so bad when you consider that approximately 3 million of those people would be Welsh, 270,000 of those being from Swansea and, more specifically, one would be Russell T Davies.
But who would invent such a stupid device (apart from some tit called Osterhagen or Davies)? The Samurai? The Venerable Order of Lemmings? The Manic-Depressives’ Wing of Arkham Asylum?
Not only that but in true Russell T Davies fashion, i.e. honking out the fucking obvious at full volume, Osterhagen is in fact an anagram of ‘earths gone’. Genius.
In defence of the actual prop, it did look halfway realistic, nice copper contacts, matt black computer-plastic finish, good shape. It’s a fucking change from the brightly coloured perspex squares of previous Whos.
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muhaha